4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
