On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
