I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize