let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
