therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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