it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
