I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
