in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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