She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
