She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
