you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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