the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize