Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
