I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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