the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hippo gnu deer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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