woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
