At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
