i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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