Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
