Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
