Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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