TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
