Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
