My balls are so social today.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
