im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
