I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
