So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
