you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
