so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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