They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
