is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
