my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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