I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do vagina's smell?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
