The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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