i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
