Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
