yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
