its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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