I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish I only lived at night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
