I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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