apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i think i just lost a toe
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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