i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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