So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
