Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
