are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
