Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
