You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
