Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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