and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
