i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I could make wine with my vomit
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
