i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
